Tingling love. - S. 3/3
2013-06-27 / 23:39:00
3. Unedited
"Sarah, please talk to me!" Callon said, kneeling beside me in class before the teacher arrived. Bridget weren't in our class but I noticed that one of the girls in the girls bathroom were and I knew she would tell everything she saw to Bridget. I ignored Callon and looked toward the other side of the classroom. Callon put his hand on my cheek and turned my head to his direction but I closed my eyes. Callon growled.
"Sarah, look at me now!" I felt so tempted to open my eyes and kiss him because Callons face was so close to me his breath warmed my face.
"Leave me alone, Callon", I said with my eyes still closed. Suddenly Callon pressed his lips against mine and fisted his hand in my hair. I couldn't fight the fireworks that I got from his lips even if I wanted and when we broke away we were both breathing heavily. In the background the students applauded and some told us to stope being such lovebirds.
"Sarah." Callons voice made me shiver out of content. His voice was heavenly. I opened my eyes and stared right into Callons eyes and I felt home. It's going to be alright, he's going to understand me, I thought, I should tell him. His eyes held so much love, so much relief that I was looking at him, he wouldn't stop loving me because I'm depressed.
"Sarah, I'm sorry about everything, I will explain, just know that I love you", Callon said. I jumped slightly when he said he loved me. I knew he did, I saw it, and I loved him and that was the problem. I couldn't stand the thought of him stop loving me.
"Leave me alone, Callon!" I said loud enough so the bathroom girl heard it. I pushed him back from where he was kneeling beside me. He didn't budge but I tried pushing him again, this time Callon took my arms in his hands and kissed my knuckles.
"I will, for now", he sighed and got up and took the seat next to mine. I looked down on my hands and tenderly traced my knuckles which he had kissed with an index finger. It was still tingling. The door opened and Mr. Smith who was going to teach us in math came in. Mr. Smith started writing formulas on the board but my thoughts, my eyes and heck my whole body kept on drifting to the side, where Callon was. Whenever I looked, Callon would be looking right at me smiling unsurely. The whole lesson passed without me knowing because it felt like there had only been five minutes when Mr. Smith said we were dismissed. I took my things and ran out the door before Callon could get a hold of me.
"Sarah wait!" He yelled behind me in the corridor and students all around me were looking at me. I kept on walking, prying my way forward in the corridor, ignoring Callon completely. I ran into the girls bathroom again and locked myself up in the same stall as yesterday. Good, he can't come in here, I thought. My whole being was hurting of longing for him, but i couldn't go out. I heard the bathroom door open and a quiet: "Sarah?"
Of course he would come in, this is Callon we are talking about after all, I thought rolling my eyes. I stayed quiet and lifted my feet so he wouldn't see them through the spring under the door. Callons boots stayed outside my stall.
"I know you are there, Sarah, you are the only one here, and besides, I can smell you", he said tapping lightly on the door. I stayed quiet.
"Sarah.." he began but the bathroom door opened again.
"Callon? What are you doing here?" Asked Bridget.
"Nothing", Callon said and stepped out of the bathroom. When the door had closed Bridget tapped her hand on my stall.
"Get the hell out, Sarah", she said. I stayed quiet.
"Are you mute? Get out!" I stood up and got out. Bridget stood there, alone, with light tight jeans and a see through white top. She was beautiful. And a werewolf, I realized looking at the door she had tapped which now had cracks in it.
"Do you want me to tell him?" she asked.
"No", I said.
"Well why the hell are you making out with him during class?" Suddenly I was filled with a rage that blackened my sight.
"Because he is mine!" I growled and ran out the bathroom. Callon was leaning against the wall casually and straightened when I stepped out.
"Sarah.." he began but I cut him off by kissing him. I pushed him against the wall and he put his arms around my waist. I put all my anger and sadness into the kiss. This boy was mine. He is mine. When we broke the kiss Callons eyes were golden and his claws were digging into my skin. He pulled me closer to him, so my thigh was between his legs and I felt the bulge in his pants. I moaned.
"Come home with me," I whispered seductively, "right now." Callon closed his eyes and seemed to try and collect himself. Not wanting him to find his senses and not come home with me I let my hand trail down his chest and then I let it sneak up under his t-shirt. Callon tensed.
"Are you sure you want to do this with her, Callon?" A voice suddenly asked. Callon opened his eyes looking confused.
"You do know what she does, don't you?" Bridget continued. Now it was my time to tense but I kept my hand on Callons abs. I felt Callons wondering glance on me but I stared stubbornly on his chest. I heard students stop dead in their tracks, like they could smell the drama that was about to unfold.
"What nonsense are you talking about, Bridget?" Callon asked exasperated. Bridget let out a humorless laugh.
"What? You don't know why your little girlfriend moved here? Or what she does when she's alone?" Callon took away my arm from his abs and tilted my head up so I was forced to look into his eyes.
"What is she talking about, baby?" I shook my head, unsure of what to say. I readied myself for what was to come.
"Where do you do it, freak? Tell us where you press down the razorblades, is it your legs? Your wrists?" I felt tears collect in my eyes and I willed them not to fall.
"What.." Callon began but was interrupted by Bridget.
"And how many pills did you take that day when you tried to kill yourself? 50? 100? Or was it more? Your parents couldn't handle the disappointment to have you as their daughter, so they shipped you off here, didn't they?" Callon released my arm and I felt my heart begin to crack. This is it, I thought, this is as far as our love story goes.
At first Callons eyes held nothing but then they began to anger and his expression turned into a disgusted one. I took a step back and looked around me. Bridget was standing behind me, a smug smile on her face. I felt my cheeks become wet and I looked around at the students who had stopped and undoubtedly had heard what Bridget had said. They all stood there, silently judging and I pressed my hand to my ribs.
"Sarah.." Callon whispered. I whipped my head back to him. "Tell me it isn't true." Callon became blurry. I wanted to tell him it was all a sick lie, but it wasn't and I couldn't lie to him. I shook my head, not finding my voice.
"Speak!" Callon ordered.
"I'm sorry", I squeked pathetically and turned away from him and ran past the students. I began running home.
"Wait!" a voice called out and without my brains consent my body obeyed. I shieled my face with my hands, still crying. Suddenly two big arms embraced me and pulled me into a massive chest.
"You have to stop running from me", Callon murmured into my hair. I was scared and confused.
"I'm sorry, Callon", I said quietly. Callons mouth was right next to my ear and he was purposely blowing warm air on it. I shuddered.
"For what?" he said still blowing out warm air on my ear.
"You know what", I said angrily escaping his embrace and staring defiantly into his eyes. His eyes darkened.
"No, I don't, mate", he said lowly.
"For being such a fuck up!" I yelled. I didn't cry anymore, I wasn't said, only angry and hurt that people who don't even know me judge me. Callon growled loudly and his fangs elongated.
"You. Are. Not. A. Fuck. Up." Callon stared down at me, daring me to disagree.
"Yes I am! And I know you think so to! I saw it in your eyes!" Right after I had finished the sentence Callon growled even louder and swept me into his arms, like I was a princess and he a knight. Surprised I let out a shout but then started hitting his chest.
"Callon, let me down, this instance!" I said. Callon ignored me and headed to the woods in inhuman speed. I became quiet and grabbed a hold of his hair to not fall down. Callon didn't stop until we were deep into the woods and then laid me down on the grass. I tried to get up but Callon laid down beside me and pushed me down.
"Stay", he growled. I looked into his eyes and I understood that he was close to losing control. He was more a wolf than man right now and his hair had grown darker, his nails were claws, his eyes were black and his back seemed to be crooked. I layed down quiet, not wanting to piss of the beast. I was laying down on my back on the grass but Callon lifted me slightly and put me down of his chest and put his nose in the crook of my neck and inhaled. I thought back to the werewolf novels I had read, where mates would mark each other in the neck. Did werewolves do that for real? I closed my eyes thinking it didn't matter, all that mattered was that he was here. With me. When I felt his heartrate slow down I tried to move position. Callons arms tightened around me, thinking I was trying to leave his embrace.
"I want to see you", I said. Callons arms loosened and I turned around so I was lying stomach on stomach with Callon. His eyes were no longer black, but still darker than usually. I took it as a good sign that his fangs and gone back in.
"Do you think I'm disgusting, now?" I asked, bracing myself for the answer. Callon looked shocked and then angry.
"Of course not, mate, how could you even think that way?" he said lowly. I saw his eyes become a shade darker and I reached out my hand to trace patterns on his chest. Immedietly his eyes softened.
"You looked disgusted", I said, letting my fingers go on a hike down south. Callon closed his eyes and moaned softly when I let my fingers under his waistband. I let my hand rest on his lower stomach, part of my fingers under his jeans and boxers.
"Not by you", he grunted, "by Bridget." Callon opened his eyes and made me look into his eyes.
"I could never find you disgusting and it breaks my heart, Sarah, that you thought I could", he said. "But what breaks my heart even more is that my mate, my love, my fucking everything might not have been here with me, and that she wanted to get away." I noticed that Callon cried silently, and he looked so devasted that I began crying again, too.
"You are everything, Sarah. I don't know how I made it this far without you, but now that I know true happiness I can't live without it! Without you!" Callon wiped away his tears angrily. He took my shoulders and rolled unto me so my hand went out of his jeans and I was lying on my back on the grass. Callon was half lying on me, holding himself up on his two arms around me, letting his lowerbody, and erection, press into my lower body.
"I'm sorry", I whispered.
"Where is your scars?" he said. I looked at him oddly. "Sarah, show me your scars."
"My stomach", I said weakly. Callon sat up on his legs and I was about to follow when he put a hand on my shoulder and pressed me down again. For a while Callon didn't do anything. He only looked at me, like I was about to vanish into thin air any minute and he wanted to remember every part of me. I blushed slightly when his gaze travelled down from my face to my breast, to my stomach, to my sex and to my legs. When his gaze came back to my eyes his eyes were black again.
"Don't you understand what you are doing to me, woman?" he said low. He looked like he was in pain.
"I'm sorry", I said again. He growled.
"Don't apologize. Do you want to know how much you effect me? How much I want you? Need you?" I gulped and nodded. Callon took my hand and pressed his lips to it and then put it over his erection through his jeans. I gasped and tried to pull my hand away but Callon held it still. He looked at me with his black intense eyes.
"This is all your doing, Sarah, it's all you. This is how much I want you and this", Callon said moving my hand from his erection to over his heart, "is how much I love you." Callons heart was beating so fast and I felt proud that I had made his heart beat this fast and his sex so hard.
"You are perfect to me, Sarah", he said quietly. Callon let go of my hand and lifted my t-shirt up. I gasped and tried to pull it back down but Callon wouldn't let me. I hid my face in my hands, feeling embarrassed. Callon was quiet and I knew what he saw. All those scars from hurting myself for years, all over my stomach and my freshly new made wounds. I let my tears fall knowing Callon would get up and leave me now. No one could think I was beautiful after seeing my scars. But then I felt something warm press down on the side of my ribs where I had cut yesterday. I looked to see what it was. Callon was kissing my scars, lightly, lovingly.
"Stop it", I said, "you don't have to force yourself. It's alright, Callon, I understand." Callon didn't answer and I tried to pull his head away but Callon kept on kissing my scars. Seeing him kissing my scars so lovingly, and with a face of adoration I broke down. Everything that I had tried to avoid came back to me, and I cried for it all. I cried because I was depressed, I cried because my parents didn't want me after my suicide attempt, I cried because of the judgmental faces of the people in school, I cried because I loved Callon so much and under it all Callon kept on kissing my scars.
When I had calmed down Callon stopped kissing my scars and put my shirt down. The tingles from his touch was still there.
"Sarah, you are beautiful, with or without scars", he said, "do you understand that?" I nodded. But I didn't. Callon took my hand and placed it over his erection again. I blushed when I noticed it was even more noticeable this time.
"You are beautiful, Sarah, do you understand?"
"Maybe", I said honestly. Callon nodded.
"That's ok, I will make you realise just how beautiful you are. But first you have to promise me to stop hurting yourself. If you have to hurt someone, then hurt me, cut me, hit me, bite me, do whatever you need to do, but I forbid you to hurt yourself ever again!" His voice rose for every word.
"I will try", I said meekly.
"No, Sarah! You will not hurt yourself ever again! And you will not try to kill yourself! I forbid it!" Callons voice were angry and witnessed of authority but then I looked at him. I really truly looked at Callon and saw him. I saw through his body being big as a horse, his face that looked angry and stoic. I saw how scared he was, to lose me, that I would disappear. I saw the love and protectiveness he felt for me and I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't hurt him anymore. He loved me. This supermodel looking man loved me. And I loved him.
"I promise Callon, I do, I promise. I love you", I said and embraced him. I tangled my hands into his hair and pressed my lips to his. Callon quickly took control of the kiss and he gently bit my underlip and I moaned. He took it as a chance to let his tounge in and my hands traced his scapula while he cupped my breast. I bucked my hips so that his erection were pressing against my sex and he moaned. Callon pulled away when I tried to unbutton his jeans.
"No, not like this, babe, not in the woods", he breathed heavily.
"You are a wolf, you should like the woods", I said trying to get him to lay down on me again.
"I love the woods, but I don't want our first time to be here, I want it to be more romantic, you deserve roses scattered around the room and lit candles." I nodded and let him sit up and sat up myself. We sat side by side, not touching, but still closer than ever and didn't say anything. For the first time in a long time I didn't feel sad or scared about what the future holds. I felt happy and strong. Complete. I looked to Callon and smiled.
"I love you", I said.
"I love you more", he answered.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I was sitting on Callons back while he was walking with human speed back to school. I was leaning my head towards his shoulder and was half asleep when Callon broke the silence.
"Yes, but not now", I answered.
"You are going to have to talk about it some time, Sarah", he replied seriously. He was right. I knew he was and I knew I needed help.
"I'm going to talk to a psychiatrist, again, and then I have you", I said, fondly kissing Callons shoulder.
"Damn right you do", Callon muttered but I heard the smile in his voice.
"I'm going to take a nap", I said yawning.
"See you soon, princess" he said. I smiled and knew it was going to be alright. It had been a rocky and lonely road until now but I was no longer alone and it was hard, but the road had brought me here. I tightened my arms around my man. He was it. He was the one I had prayed word.
Thank you, God, I thought before drifting off to my man softly humming.
"Sarah, please talk to me!" Callon said, kneeling beside me in class before the teacher arrived. Bridget weren't in our class but I noticed that one of the girls in the girls bathroom were and I knew she would tell everything she saw to Bridget. I ignored Callon and looked toward the other side of the classroom. Callon put his hand on my cheek and turned my head to his direction but I closed my eyes. Callon growled.
"Sarah, look at me now!" I felt so tempted to open my eyes and kiss him because Callons face was so close to me his breath warmed my face.
"Leave me alone, Callon", I said with my eyes still closed. Suddenly Callon pressed his lips against mine and fisted his hand in my hair. I couldn't fight the fireworks that I got from his lips even if I wanted and when we broke away we were both breathing heavily. In the background the students applauded and some told us to stope being such lovebirds.
"Sarah." Callons voice made me shiver out of content. His voice was heavenly. I opened my eyes and stared right into Callons eyes and I felt home. It's going to be alright, he's going to understand me, I thought, I should tell him. His eyes held so much love, so much relief that I was looking at him, he wouldn't stop loving me because I'm depressed.
"Sarah, I'm sorry about everything, I will explain, just know that I love you", Callon said. I jumped slightly when he said he loved me. I knew he did, I saw it, and I loved him and that was the problem. I couldn't stand the thought of him stop loving me.
"Leave me alone, Callon!" I said loud enough so the bathroom girl heard it. I pushed him back from where he was kneeling beside me. He didn't budge but I tried pushing him again, this time Callon took my arms in his hands and kissed my knuckles.
"I will, for now", he sighed and got up and took the seat next to mine. I looked down on my hands and tenderly traced my knuckles which he had kissed with an index finger. It was still tingling. The door opened and Mr. Smith who was going to teach us in math came in. Mr. Smith started writing formulas on the board but my thoughts, my eyes and heck my whole body kept on drifting to the side, where Callon was. Whenever I looked, Callon would be looking right at me smiling unsurely. The whole lesson passed without me knowing because it felt like there had only been five minutes when Mr. Smith said we were dismissed. I took my things and ran out the door before Callon could get a hold of me.
"Sarah wait!" He yelled behind me in the corridor and students all around me were looking at me. I kept on walking, prying my way forward in the corridor, ignoring Callon completely. I ran into the girls bathroom again and locked myself up in the same stall as yesterday. Good, he can't come in here, I thought. My whole being was hurting of longing for him, but i couldn't go out. I heard the bathroom door open and a quiet: "Sarah?"
Of course he would come in, this is Callon we are talking about after all, I thought rolling my eyes. I stayed quiet and lifted my feet so he wouldn't see them through the spring under the door. Callons boots stayed outside my stall.
"I know you are there, Sarah, you are the only one here, and besides, I can smell you", he said tapping lightly on the door. I stayed quiet.
"Sarah.." he began but the bathroom door opened again.
"Callon? What are you doing here?" Asked Bridget.
"Nothing", Callon said and stepped out of the bathroom. When the door had closed Bridget tapped her hand on my stall.
"Get the hell out, Sarah", she said. I stayed quiet.
"Are you mute? Get out!" I stood up and got out. Bridget stood there, alone, with light tight jeans and a see through white top. She was beautiful. And a werewolf, I realized looking at the door she had tapped which now had cracks in it.
"Do you want me to tell him?" she asked.
"No", I said.
"Well why the hell are you making out with him during class?" Suddenly I was filled with a rage that blackened my sight.
"Because he is mine!" I growled and ran out the bathroom. Callon was leaning against the wall casually and straightened when I stepped out.
"Sarah.." he began but I cut him off by kissing him. I pushed him against the wall and he put his arms around my waist. I put all my anger and sadness into the kiss. This boy was mine. He is mine. When we broke the kiss Callons eyes were golden and his claws were digging into my skin. He pulled me closer to him, so my thigh was between his legs and I felt the bulge in his pants. I moaned.
"Come home with me," I whispered seductively, "right now." Callon closed his eyes and seemed to try and collect himself. Not wanting him to find his senses and not come home with me I let my hand trail down his chest and then I let it sneak up under his t-shirt. Callon tensed.
"Are you sure you want to do this with her, Callon?" A voice suddenly asked. Callon opened his eyes looking confused.
"You do know what she does, don't you?" Bridget continued. Now it was my time to tense but I kept my hand on Callons abs. I felt Callons wondering glance on me but I stared stubbornly on his chest. I heard students stop dead in their tracks, like they could smell the drama that was about to unfold.
"What nonsense are you talking about, Bridget?" Callon asked exasperated. Bridget let out a humorless laugh.
"What? You don't know why your little girlfriend moved here? Or what she does when she's alone?" Callon took away my arm from his abs and tilted my head up so I was forced to look into his eyes.
"What is she talking about, baby?" I shook my head, unsure of what to say. I readied myself for what was to come.
"Where do you do it, freak? Tell us where you press down the razorblades, is it your legs? Your wrists?" I felt tears collect in my eyes and I willed them not to fall.
"What.." Callon began but was interrupted by Bridget.
"And how many pills did you take that day when you tried to kill yourself? 50? 100? Or was it more? Your parents couldn't handle the disappointment to have you as their daughter, so they shipped you off here, didn't they?" Callon released my arm and I felt my heart begin to crack. This is it, I thought, this is as far as our love story goes.
At first Callons eyes held nothing but then they began to anger and his expression turned into a disgusted one. I took a step back and looked around me. Bridget was standing behind me, a smug smile on her face. I felt my cheeks become wet and I looked around at the students who had stopped and undoubtedly had heard what Bridget had said. They all stood there, silently judging and I pressed my hand to my ribs.
"Sarah.." Callon whispered. I whipped my head back to him. "Tell me it isn't true." Callon became blurry. I wanted to tell him it was all a sick lie, but it wasn't and I couldn't lie to him. I shook my head, not finding my voice.
"Speak!" Callon ordered.
"I'm sorry", I squeked pathetically and turned away from him and ran past the students. I began running home.
"Wait!" a voice called out and without my brains consent my body obeyed. I shieled my face with my hands, still crying. Suddenly two big arms embraced me and pulled me into a massive chest.
"You have to stop running from me", Callon murmured into my hair. I was scared and confused.
"I'm sorry, Callon", I said quietly. Callons mouth was right next to my ear and he was purposely blowing warm air on it. I shuddered.
"For what?" he said still blowing out warm air on my ear.
"You know what", I said angrily escaping his embrace and staring defiantly into his eyes. His eyes darkened.
"No, I don't, mate", he said lowly.
"For being such a fuck up!" I yelled. I didn't cry anymore, I wasn't said, only angry and hurt that people who don't even know me judge me. Callon growled loudly and his fangs elongated.
"You. Are. Not. A. Fuck. Up." Callon stared down at me, daring me to disagree.
"Yes I am! And I know you think so to! I saw it in your eyes!" Right after I had finished the sentence Callon growled even louder and swept me into his arms, like I was a princess and he a knight. Surprised I let out a shout but then started hitting his chest.
"Callon, let me down, this instance!" I said. Callon ignored me and headed to the woods in inhuman speed. I became quiet and grabbed a hold of his hair to not fall down. Callon didn't stop until we were deep into the woods and then laid me down on the grass. I tried to get up but Callon laid down beside me and pushed me down.
"Stay", he growled. I looked into his eyes and I understood that he was close to losing control. He was more a wolf than man right now and his hair had grown darker, his nails were claws, his eyes were black and his back seemed to be crooked. I layed down quiet, not wanting to piss of the beast. I was laying down on my back on the grass but Callon lifted me slightly and put me down of his chest and put his nose in the crook of my neck and inhaled. I thought back to the werewolf novels I had read, where mates would mark each other in the neck. Did werewolves do that for real? I closed my eyes thinking it didn't matter, all that mattered was that he was here. With me. When I felt his heartrate slow down I tried to move position. Callons arms tightened around me, thinking I was trying to leave his embrace.
"I want to see you", I said. Callons arms loosened and I turned around so I was lying stomach on stomach with Callon. His eyes were no longer black, but still darker than usually. I took it as a good sign that his fangs and gone back in.
"Do you think I'm disgusting, now?" I asked, bracing myself for the answer. Callon looked shocked and then angry.
"Of course not, mate, how could you even think that way?" he said lowly. I saw his eyes become a shade darker and I reached out my hand to trace patterns on his chest. Immedietly his eyes softened.
"You looked disgusted", I said, letting my fingers go on a hike down south. Callon closed his eyes and moaned softly when I let my fingers under his waistband. I let my hand rest on his lower stomach, part of my fingers under his jeans and boxers.
"Not by you", he grunted, "by Bridget." Callon opened his eyes and made me look into his eyes.
"I could never find you disgusting and it breaks my heart, Sarah, that you thought I could", he said. "But what breaks my heart even more is that my mate, my love, my fucking everything might not have been here with me, and that she wanted to get away." I noticed that Callon cried silently, and he looked so devasted that I began crying again, too.
"You are everything, Sarah. I don't know how I made it this far without you, but now that I know true happiness I can't live without it! Without you!" Callon wiped away his tears angrily. He took my shoulders and rolled unto me so my hand went out of his jeans and I was lying on my back on the grass. Callon was half lying on me, holding himself up on his two arms around me, letting his lowerbody, and erection, press into my lower body.
"I'm sorry", I whispered.
"Where is your scars?" he said. I looked at him oddly. "Sarah, show me your scars."
"My stomach", I said weakly. Callon sat up on his legs and I was about to follow when he put a hand on my shoulder and pressed me down again. For a while Callon didn't do anything. He only looked at me, like I was about to vanish into thin air any minute and he wanted to remember every part of me. I blushed slightly when his gaze travelled down from my face to my breast, to my stomach, to my sex and to my legs. When his gaze came back to my eyes his eyes were black again.
"Don't you understand what you are doing to me, woman?" he said low. He looked like he was in pain.
"I'm sorry", I said again. He growled.
"Don't apologize. Do you want to know how much you effect me? How much I want you? Need you?" I gulped and nodded. Callon took my hand and pressed his lips to it and then put it over his erection through his jeans. I gasped and tried to pull my hand away but Callon held it still. He looked at me with his black intense eyes.
"This is all your doing, Sarah, it's all you. This is how much I want you and this", Callon said moving my hand from his erection to over his heart, "is how much I love you." Callons heart was beating so fast and I felt proud that I had made his heart beat this fast and his sex so hard.
"You are perfect to me, Sarah", he said quietly. Callon let go of my hand and lifted my t-shirt up. I gasped and tried to pull it back down but Callon wouldn't let me. I hid my face in my hands, feeling embarrassed. Callon was quiet and I knew what he saw. All those scars from hurting myself for years, all over my stomach and my freshly new made wounds. I let my tears fall knowing Callon would get up and leave me now. No one could think I was beautiful after seeing my scars. But then I felt something warm press down on the side of my ribs where I had cut yesterday. I looked to see what it was. Callon was kissing my scars, lightly, lovingly.
"Stop it", I said, "you don't have to force yourself. It's alright, Callon, I understand." Callon didn't answer and I tried to pull his head away but Callon kept on kissing my scars. Seeing him kissing my scars so lovingly, and with a face of adoration I broke down. Everything that I had tried to avoid came back to me, and I cried for it all. I cried because I was depressed, I cried because my parents didn't want me after my suicide attempt, I cried because of the judgmental faces of the people in school, I cried because I loved Callon so much and under it all Callon kept on kissing my scars.
When I had calmed down Callon stopped kissing my scars and put my shirt down. The tingles from his touch was still there.
"Sarah, you are beautiful, with or without scars", he said, "do you understand that?" I nodded. But I didn't. Callon took my hand and placed it over his erection again. I blushed when I noticed it was even more noticeable this time.
"You are beautiful, Sarah, do you understand?"
"Maybe", I said honestly. Callon nodded.
"That's ok, I will make you realise just how beautiful you are. But first you have to promise me to stop hurting yourself. If you have to hurt someone, then hurt me, cut me, hit me, bite me, do whatever you need to do, but I forbid you to hurt yourself ever again!" His voice rose for every word.
"I will try", I said meekly.
"No, Sarah! You will not hurt yourself ever again! And you will not try to kill yourself! I forbid it!" Callons voice were angry and witnessed of authority but then I looked at him. I really truly looked at Callon and saw him. I saw through his body being big as a horse, his face that looked angry and stoic. I saw how scared he was, to lose me, that I would disappear. I saw the love and protectiveness he felt for me and I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't hurt him anymore. He loved me. This supermodel looking man loved me. And I loved him.
"I promise Callon, I do, I promise. I love you", I said and embraced him. I tangled my hands into his hair and pressed my lips to his. Callon quickly took control of the kiss and he gently bit my underlip and I moaned. He took it as a chance to let his tounge in and my hands traced his scapula while he cupped my breast. I bucked my hips so that his erection were pressing against my sex and he moaned. Callon pulled away when I tried to unbutton his jeans.
"No, not like this, babe, not in the woods", he breathed heavily.
"You are a wolf, you should like the woods", I said trying to get him to lay down on me again.
"I love the woods, but I don't want our first time to be here, I want it to be more romantic, you deserve roses scattered around the room and lit candles." I nodded and let him sit up and sat up myself. We sat side by side, not touching, but still closer than ever and didn't say anything. For the first time in a long time I didn't feel sad or scared about what the future holds. I felt happy and strong. Complete. I looked to Callon and smiled.
"I love you", I said.
"I love you more", he answered.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I was sitting on Callons back while he was walking with human speed back to school. I was leaning my head towards his shoulder and was half asleep when Callon broke the silence.
"Yes, but not now", I answered.
"You are going to have to talk about it some time, Sarah", he replied seriously. He was right. I knew he was and I knew I needed help.
"I'm going to talk to a psychiatrist, again, and then I have you", I said, fondly kissing Callons shoulder.
"Damn right you do", Callon muttered but I heard the smile in his voice.
"I'm going to take a nap", I said yawning.
"See you soon, princess" he said. I smiled and knew it was going to be alright. It had been a rocky and lonely road until now but I was no longer alone and it was hard, but the road had brought me here. I tightened my arms around my man. He was it. He was the one I had prayed word.
Thank you, God, I thought before drifting off to my man softly humming.
/boktjejernamedstil
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